Tuesday, September 9, 2014

River Rant - An Open Letter

The following was posted on a fly fishing forum today under the title "An Open Letter to an Uninformed Moron".  

Dear Mr. streamer throwing dumbass,

I know we all have to start somewhere......
That being said, when I started frequenting rivers with a fishing rod, I was an ignorant, uninformed moron.....I was seven years old, and it was short walk down West Main street in Clinton to the SBR. I learned in about ten seconds to keep a good distance from other fishermen, especially when you were a kid..it was 1977........The stares I got walking into the river on opening day, and the grumbling I heard about this damn kid......well, about fifty steps down the bank, and 10 seconds later, I got a thanks and a wave......

You are an adult...there was no one else within half a mile from where I was sitting and enjoying casting to spooky fish, in thin clear water......It was 64 degrees today in (river name redacted).....you know, you were there, probably didn't even care to know the water temperature.......I haven't been out in a while, it's been warm, and I have had other things to attend to...I planned this day for solitude, and maybe a pleasant conversation with another fisherman....I did have one back at the lot......ABOUT YOU!........

I didn't care that you were throwing, or trying to throw, streamers in that skinny ass water(you would have spooked a great white)
I didn't care that you could barely cast an inch......that is why I let you be....
I didn't care that you still had your beach tag on your *** ass beach hat..
I didn't care that you were shouting across the river to me...
I didn't care that you had no clue as to what you were doing...

Hey I am no expert, but I could have helped you...
I did care about the things you seemed to think were O.K.

Did you think it was O.K. to start tossing your streamer into my drift?
Did you think it was O.K. to splash around while you got your ass unsnagged yet once again?
Did you think it was O.K. to slash your fat ass streamer at my feet? ...for F***S SAKE!!!!
You spooked all the fish in that hole...put them on the bottom like rocks..it took you all of three minutes....

DID YOU NOT UNDERSTAND, THAT WHEN YOU ASKED ME WHAT I WAS USING, I WAS SLIGHTLY PISSED OFF?

Did the answer, "I am using lots of f***ing things", not clue you in that you were being a completely disrespectful weenie...
You don't just walk across the river from someone and start casting where they are fishing.....get a friggin' clue!

BTW...the guy I talked to in the parking lot was a complete gentleman and very knowledgeable about the area....
I hoped he went and fished right up next to you, maybe then you will get it.....
It is just plain

COMMON SENSE!!!

Sincerely,
The guy that was very nice to you until you started casting into my waders...

Anyway, I feel much better now.......
I caught a few nice fish...One large Brown on a Stimulator....***ker came up 3 feet from under rock slow as hell and just sipped it in........AWESOME!!

6 comments:

Jaybird said...

This reminds me , it's almost Salmon River time .

Mr. Q said...

That may be a little risque for this blog no?

Anyway...an excellent writer, whoever it was!!!!

Matt Grobert said...

Jay, it does remind one of the Salmon, although that is often combat fishing compared to the streamer thrower. :)

Mr.Q, I posted this because I think each of us has experienced situations that push us over the edge while fishing. You may recall that day in the gorge when an angler decided he had to cast over my line from upstream and when I objected he insisted that I was in the wrong.....

Peter W. said...

I had the same thing happen to me by a spey caster,on the Whippany of all places.

See you Saturday at the museum.

Mr.Q said...

Yes..I remember....the bugger was "just fishin' his water"......

Brian Cowden said...

I'm just surprised someone spey casted on the Whippany